Mr. Perfect by Linda Howard

Author:Linda Howard
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Publisher: Atria Books
Published: 2000-03-03T16:00:00+00:00

sixteen

Corin couldn’t sleep. He got out of bed and turned on the light in the bathroom, checking in the mirror to make certain he was still there. The face that stared back at him was that of a stranger, but the eyes were familiar. He had seen those eyes look back at him for most of his life, but sometimes he was gone and they didn’t see him.

An array of yellow medicine bottles were lined up, according to size, on the vanity so he would see them every day when he got up and remember to take his medication. It had been several days now—he couldn’t remember exactly how many—since he had taken the pills. He could see himself now, but when he took the pills, his thinking got clouded and he faded away in the mist.

It was better, they had told him, if he stayed in the mist, hidden away. The pills worked so well that sometimes he even forgot he was there. But there was always a sense of something wrong, as if the universe were askew, and now he knew what it was. The pills might hide him, but they couldn’t make him go away.

He hadn’t been able to sleep since he stopped taking the pills. Oh, he dozed, but real sleep eluded him. Sometimes he felt as if he were shaking apart inside, though when he held out his hands, they were steady. Was there something addictive in the pills? Had they lied to him? He didn’t want to be a drug addict; addiction was a sign of weakness, his mother had always told him. He couldn’t be addicted because he couldn’t be weak. He had to be strong, he had to be perfect.

He heard an echo of her voice in his head. “My perfect little man,” she had called him, stroking his cheek.

Whenever he failed her, whenever he was less than perfect, her wrath had been so overwhelming his world would threaten to come apart at the seams. He would do anything to keep from disappointing his mother, but he had kept an awful secret from her: sometimes he had deliberately transgressed, just a little, so she would punish him. Even now the thought of those punishments sent a thrill through him. She would have been so disappointed if she had guessed his secret delight, so he had always struggled to keep his pleasure hidden.

Sometimes he missed her so much. She always knew just what to do.

She would know, for instance, what to do about those four bitches who mocked him with their list for being perfect. As if they knew what perfection was! He knew. His mother had known. He had always tried so hard to be her perfect little man, her perfect son, but he had always fallen short, even on those times when he wasn’t misbehaving just a little, on purpose, so she would punish him. He had always known there was an imperfection in him that he would never be able to correct, that he always disappointed his mother on a basic level just by being.

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